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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

#Madoff Mania: What #BP and #Afghanistan Have In Common...

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To: Bernie
From: J. Picower

In all due respect, you've been all wrong about President Obama's strategy re: Afghanistan. It didn't take Dick Cheney to figure out that place is a gold mine, not to mention the bauxite, iron, copper and lithium. That's why I've already started digging!

Yes, the weather here sucks, but its not like I can go pack to Palm Beach. That said, Barb keeps saying "Honey, we've got a few billion bucks, go get yourself a face lift and we can move to Beverly Hills!"

Not for me. I can live like a King in Kabul, and in a few years, I'll be the first Trillionaire!!

Send my regards to Irv P.!

Jeff

INTERNAL MEMO
NOT FOR DISTRIBUTION
From: Lloyd Blankfein
To: Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz

Kaz-
Did you read that last comment?!

Get yourself on a plane right now and get over to Kabul. While everyone is kvetching about our being hired by BP, we need to get boots on the ground in Afghanistan. The Greeks are going to give us a letter of recommendation i.e. our financing abilities, and we've already promised a $5 billion development fund. The people here think we can turn that into $50 billion profit before end of year.

 LB




Dad:
Just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that to celebrate CFTC's approving that new futures exchange for box office receipts, Howie Lutnick got us a really great deal on a charter down here in the Gulf. The fish are jumping into the boat!! Well, actually, they're sliding in, but they don't taste bad at all!

Andy and I are thinking about buying a fleet; could be a fantastic long-term investment. Cathy's going to be on the front page of all the ads...gotta love this cheesecake shot, huh?

Do you think you can get Persico's people to chip in a few bucks? We're offering 22% returns and BP is going to provide letters of guarantee to any investor that asks for one.
Mark



From: Bernie
To: Stephie
RE: RSVP/ June 29th Book Party

Thanks so much for the invitation to come to Nino's on the 29th for your book party. I know that everyone would love to have me sign autographs at the party, but the fact is, I'm busy that day.

What? Its not that I didn't do enough for all you people? I need to be signing autographs too?! Why doesn't anybody  write a book about how I made them millionaires, and how, if it wasn't for me, they never would have had a house in Boca to lose in the first place?!

Listen, the book is lovely; I hope you sell a lot of copies, and I hope everyone enjoys the free food at Nino's. (Not for nothing, other than my pal Junior Persico (we call him JP), who the f*ck wants to eat lasagna at 11 am is something that I don't know, and if it were me, I would have had Jodi make the party over at Sable's...their Nova is the best in NY! I LOVE THOSE GUYS!  
BLM

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 16, 2010 (boomark / email).

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