New York

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Recently I've read a good number of articles (such as this one) and blog posts (too numerous to count) lamenting that young lawyers these days are just wusses. They expect it to be easy. They want everything handed to them on a platter. They give up too easily.

Also implied is that the hazing rituals--ones that we all go through--make you a better lawyer. Being shamed and ridiculed in court gives you a greater understanding of the law. Being excluded because of your gender toughens you up. Grow a pair missy. Act like a man. Dress like one, too. Take the abuse and don't cry, don't complain, don't show your pain. And if you can't hack it, take your ball and go home. Good riddance, you pussy.

What absolute and utter hogwash. I'm here to tell you that the hazing does not make you a better lawyer--in fact, the only thing it does is boost the hazers' fragile, aging egos.

Sit back, relax, and let me tell you a tale of the good,the bad and the ugly from my career during my years as a litigator. I'll focus on the judges, since most of the outrageous conduct I encountered came from the judges.

First, the good. The vast majority of judges I dealt with were absolute professionals. They were respectful, knowledgeable, and helpful and I learned so much from them. These judges were the rule, rather than the exception.

However, it is the exceptions that are the focus of this post, so let's move onto the exceptions. And what an assorted bunch they are. There are others, but this motley foursome stands out in my mind.

The perpetual harasser

First, the perpetual harasser. When I was a asst. PD I was assigned to a court for over a year and one of the judges at the court was completely enamored with my legs. How do I know? He told me so--regularly--in front of the male ADA. When I wore a pant suit the judge lamented that I wasn't wearing a skirt. My legs were the first thing he mentioned every time he saw me. After a while it almost became funny...almost. More than anything, it was annoying. Aside from that, he was a good judge and a nice guy. It really was the oddest thing.

The mildly inappropriate proposition

Next, the propositioning judge. I was in a judge's office late one afternoon, conducting an ex parte bail app (the DA didn't oppose the application and wasn't able to attend). Nevertheless, the judge, who I knew fairly well, wanted me to appear in his office to make a formal request, which I thought was a bit odd. It was just he and I in his chambers.

After he granted the app, he immediately suggested that he and I meet out for drinks later. I had a tough call to make--would he would turn around and deny the app if I declined? I decided it didn't matter--I was a damn dedicated defense attorney, but would only go so far for my clients. I very politely declined, and to his credit, he took it quite well. He didn't penalize my client and I never sensed any animosity from him afterwards.

The despot

Next up, the despot judge. This judge was infamous for hazing the PDs and DAs who appeared before him--especially the women--so when I was assigned to his court, I knew I was in for it.

On my first day, halfway through morning arraignments, on the record, in front of a packed court room, he accused me of "rolling my eyes" every time he set bail. He threatened to hold me in contempt and place me in jail if I continued to do so. He'd held other attorneys in contempt before, so I didn't doubt him. I barely blinked for the rest of the morning.

A few weeks later, he apparently decided I wasn't working hard enough, and in the middle of court--again, a packed courtroom--he interrupted me, accused me of not adequately representing my clients, informed my client he was receiving sub-par representation, and canceled court for the rest of the morning so that I could "meet with my clients."

I immediately called my boss, the public defender at the time, who met with the judge that afternoon. At this point, I'd been an asst. PD for over 3 years and my reputation in the office preceded me.  My boss informed the judge that he or a supervising attorney had seen me in the office every weekday from 6am to ~9pm and then provided him with copies of the building sign in sheet for the weekends, which showed that I'd been in the office for at least 8 hours every weekend as well. This seemed to appease the judge.

A few weeks later I was assigned to handle a Saturday arraignment. Support staff from my office decided to sleep in and when I showed up, I was the only representative from my officer there. I advised the judge of the situation and immediately began to interview everyone in lock up to determine their eligibility, something that the paralegals and interns normally did. I then assessed eligibility on the spot when their cases were called and then handled their arraignment. Court ended only 15 minutes later than usual. The judge later commended me and told me I'd done the work of 3 people and done it well.

When I left the PDs and took a new position at a litigation firm, I was advised by one of the partners that when he approached this judge to ask about me, he gave me a glowing recommendation.

Of course, so did other judges in front of whom I'd appeared that were asked about me, none of whom hazed me and humiliated me in open court. So, was it worth it? Nope. Did it make me a better lawyer? Nope. Did it make my days while assigned to his court extremely unpleasant? Yep. Do I like this judge? Yep. He's actually a really nice, pleasant, thoughtful guy--when he's off the bench.

The sexist pig

One of the most bizarre and sexist experiences of my career occurred when I appeared in court at a partner's behest in a town court in an outlying county. I believe it was an landlord tenant matter.

When our client's case was called, he and I walked to the front of the room. Opposing counsel noted his appearance and the judge acknowledged it. I then began to speak, stating my name. The judge ignored me, talked over me and asked if anyone was appearing for the other party. I again spoke up, louder this time, although that had never been an issue for me since, for a woman, I have a loud, deep voice. He again spoke over me and looked into the audience, as if searching for an attorney.

I again began to speak. Same thing happened. Then my client jumped in and said, "I'm here with my lawyer." The judge stopped, looked at him, nodded to his clerk and said "Note that in the file." The judge never looked at me or acknowledged my presence. He spoke only to my client.The court clerk later asked me my name for the file. All correspondence thereafter from the court was addressed to a male attorney at my office, despite our repeated attempts to have the court address letters to me.

The judge who humiliated pregnant women

Finally, also at the behest of a partner, I appeared at a pre-trial conference for a civil matter in an outlying county when I was 8 months pregnant. The conference itself occurred without a hitch in the judge's chamber and 2 other male attorneys were present. As the judge escorted us out of his chambers, the following conversation occurred, in front of the other attorneys:

Judge: "So, you're with XYZ firm?"

Me: "Yes."

Judge: "I know partner X. Went to school with him."

Me: (polite acknowledgment of some sort)

Judge: "So, you're pregnant?"

Me: "Yes" (suppressing a sigh, since there was absolutely no denying it at that point)

Judge: "When are you due?"

Me: (surprised at his level of interest) "February 20th"

Judge: "And you return to the office...when?"

Me: "mid-May"

Judge: "Wow. 3 months. Now that's gotta be tough for the firm."

Me: (for a moment I felt like melting into the floor. Then I got mad. I looked him straight in the eye and said...) "Not really. They won't even miss me. I don't do much around there anyway." (Exit without looking back)

To this day, I'm not sure what compelled me to say that, other than my absolute disbelief that he had the gall to say that to me at all, let alone in front of a bunch of men I'd never met. I'm glad I said it though.

Hazing does not make better lawyers

These experiences did not make me a better lawyer. They didn't improve my litigation skills, my analytical thinking, my writing abilities.  They didn't help my client's cases.

Instead, these experiences simply made me tired. Tired of the sexism. Tired of the denigration. Tired of the hazing. And, I lost hope. I am no longer optimistic. I don't think that our profession will change anytime soon. I don't think attitudes will change anytime soon.

I think those who still hold positions of power in our profession will cling to these outdated ideas with their bony old bitter claws until the day they die. Perhaps on that day, reprieve from the antiquated, mistaken idea that hazing is good will finally come. I wonder how many of the younger generation will stick around to find out.