Family Law

Has Your Divorce Lawyer "Been There, Done That"?

By J. Benjamin Stevens

The distance of three feet can make a world of difference.  I am referring to the distance between sitting in the "attorney" chair and the "client" chair in Family Court.  I know this first-hand, because I have sat in both, as I have been divorced and have dealt with the same issues that other parties must face:  asset-debt distribution, alimony, child custody, child support, etc.

Rest assured, I have no intention of discussing my personal life on this blog, but I want my readers to consider whether it's beneficial for their attorney to have experienced these types of issues himself.  It's the old "book learning" vs. "real-world experience" argument.  You can read all of the "how to" books in the world and watch thousands of others experience something, but can you truly understand it until you do it yourself?

Let's say that you decide to take up sky diving.  Who would you want teaching you how to sky dive and explaining what it's like – someone who has read 100 books about it or someone who has done it himself?  I believe that the doctors with the best bed-side manner are those that have experienced illness themselves.  Can other doctors still be good?  Of course, but they lack that unique insight that comes from having dealt with something first-hand.

Now, there is one danger that can arise and must be considered – the person's first-hand experience with the divorce (or other "learning experience") should serve as a resource for that person's advice and not be the focus of it.  I had a case many years ago with another attorney that was recently divorced, and every discussion with that attorney about my client's case ended up focusing on his own divorce and not the parties' case.  

This type of experience can be one of many tools that the effective divorce lawyer uses in working for his clients.  I acknowledge that this post may be a little controversial, but I believe it's just one of those factors (among many) that potential clients should consider when deciding which attorney to hire for their Family Court case.

Full post as published by SC Family Law Blog on May 10, 2010 (boomark / email).