Law Students

Does "Having it All" require "Settling"?

By jessie

Recently a friend alerted me to Lori Gottlieb's article in The Atlantic Monthly advising women in their twenties to "settle" when it comes to finding a mate:

Don?t worry about passion or intense connection. Don?t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling ?Bravo!? in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go.

Well I did not take kindly to this advice. I think Gottlieb's perspective is sexist and harmful-it's directed only to women and promulgates the idea that as a woman ages she becomes less desirable to men. Rather than encouraging women to think about "perfection" in terms of commitment and character, Gottlieb validates the idea that a life partner is ideal in their appearance first and their ability to But I haven't been able to stop thinking about it either.

Recently I've been feeling more and more like having children will be like "settling" for me.

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Full post as published by Ms. JD on March 09, 2008 (boomark / email).