Banking Law

Eliot ("Mess") Spitzer:

He's a punk.

He's a bully.

He's a liar.

He's a hypocrite.

Now, he's also just another busted "John."

I guess we could sing it Steve Miller's way:

I'm a joker

I'm a smoker

I'm a midnight toker

I get my lovin' on the run

Wooo Woooo



He did get his lovin' on the run, apparently as the now-infamous "Client 9." How ironic that he won the governorship of the Empire State by a record "69 percent" majority.



From the affidavit posted at Smoking Gun, we get a glimpse into the private world of "The Sheriff," who not only cleaned up Wall Street, but once publicly crowed about busting a prostitution ring. It turns out that Spitz wasn't into "safe sex." At least not according to his main mercenary squeeze "Kristen."

"[h]e would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think were safe - you know - I mean that ... very basic things."

So, he's a dirt bag, but lacks the imagination to be a kinky dirt bag. How very pedestrian of Our Little Eliot. The clown cheats on his beautiful wife, the mother of his three daughters, and in a fit of fatal hubris, lays down $4300 and succumbs to the empurpled passion of ... "straight sex."

Dude: you could have had a V-8!

On the plus side, New York could soon have its first African-American governor.

Best headlines of today thus far come from blogger Gerard Vanderleun of "American Digest":

Spitzer's Wife Silda Joins Democrat Pissed-Off Wives Club, Plans Senate Bid

and

Eliot Spitzer Vows To Crack Down On Excess Prostitute Pay.

We also very much appreciated Martha Stewart's unsolicited sympathy gift to Ms. Spitzer. "Recycled Testicle Use No. 21: Martha Stewart Egg Cup."

The most egregious offense of the entire sordid affair came to light tonight when ABC News reported that "Client 9" paid the hooker's mini bar tab. Doesn't this "man" have ANY SHAME?

Sic Semper Tyrannis.