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Morning Cup of.......

By "Daisy Duke"

At BPLF we work on teams. My team is quite small: me, the legal assistant/secretary, and The Boss, an attorney & partner at BPLF. We are a small team and work relatively well together, but, um, someone on the team is sort of odd. And it isn't me. Or The Boss. Behold, a recent conversation that, in 100% journalistic integrity has not been changed one bit:

The Boss: So this medical record is amazing. Who knew someone could ingest that much alcohol. And he wasn't even drinking red wine, which, interestingly enough, I heard two glasses a day can be therapeutic.

The Assistant: Oh yes. I drink two glasses of red wine a day!

Daisy, The Clerk: Um. Assistant, you drink one of those glasses in the morning. Before you drive into work. I wouldn't be advertising that.

The Boss: Excuse me... you drink a glass of red wine when?? In the morning??

The Assisstant: Oh yes. I found I can put up with the two of you much better when I start the day with a big breakfast and a glass of red wine.

The Boss: (clearly wanting to change the subject away from morning alcoholism) You know what I really enjoy? This low-carb energy drink. I get one every morning. Gives me clarity. Daisy, you really should look into them. They taste good, they are low in carbs, small amount of caffeine, mostly green tea and some herbs.

Daisy, The Clerk: Am I the only normal one?? I drink a glass of water at my house and a cup of coffee in the office. You know, normal drinks. Not ones that can get me busted for drunk driving or illegal herb consumption.

The Boss: Daisy. Really, look into these. They are excellent at clearing up hangovers. You really should consider them. Nothing better after a long night of drinking on the town then one of these cold drinks from the fridge.

The Assistant: Well I don't have to worry about that, I've never had a hangover in my life.

Daisy, The Clerk: BECAUSE YOU START DRINKING IN THE MORNING!! YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A HANGOVER TO DEVELOP!

The Assistant: I've never had more than two drinks in one day in my entire life. What is the highest number of drinks you've had in one day in your life Daisy?

The Boss: Haha, yeah Daisy, how many?

Daisy, The Clerk: Lets change the subject. (Sweats profusely)

(Thinks to self: Who asks someone that?? Someone who went to college in New Orleans? And, hmm, what is the answer...how should I define "a day." What about the times I started drinking at 2 pm, stayed up all night drinking, had tequila sunrises at daybreak and then went to an 8 am Mardi Gras parade and drank during the whole thing, and through lunch, only to go home and pass out from 1 pm to 6 pm only to start all over again??? 24 hours? One evening out? Ahh. The quandry.)

Full post as published by Legally Blonde Ambition on February 09, 2008 (boomark / email).