Law Humor

Serena Kozakura was convicted last year of property destruction, after a man accused her of kicking a hole in the door of his room so she could get inside.  Since Kozakura is a well-known pin-up and bikini model in Japan, that does not really seem like something you'd press charges over, but according to the report the man may have been with another woman at the time of the door-kicking.

But the truly remarkable part of the story was the argument made by Kozakura's counsel on appeal.  Kozakura's position was that the man had made the hole himself and blamed her for it.  That seems even odder than his a-bikini-model-kicked-a-hole-in-my-door story, but Kozakura's counsel was ready with evidence.  During oral argument, he held up a demonstrative exhibit showing the size of the hole in the door, and pointed out that Ms. Kozakura could not possibly have gotten through a hole of that size, as the man had claimed, because her breasts are far too large.

Kozakura's bust reportedly measures 44 inches (or an even more impressive 110 centimeters).

She (and her bust) prevailed.  The judges on the Tokyo High Court agreed that there was "reasonable doubt" about the man's account, a result that the report attributed to this very argument, although it is not clear if that's really true.  According to Kozakura, the judges did not visibly react when the breasts were presented as evidence.  "The judges were very good-mannered as they showed no expressions on their faces," she said.  "I guess they're well-trained."

Less-good-mannered was the Japanese media, which reported furiously on the decision, with the Asahi network "even inviting her to demonstrate how she could not fit through the opening."  Seriously -- have they no shame?  Let the poor woman have her privacy.  The next thing you know, this will be all over the Internet, for God's sake.

Actually, she didn't seem at all reluctant to have the publicity, as she gave numerous interviews after the dramatic court decision.  She told one interviewer, "I used to hate my body so much" -- and who can blame a poor bikini model for that? -- "but it was my breasts that won in court."

Once again, the law teaches us something about ourselves.

Link: Yahoo! News