Law Humor

Bernie's Book Babe Turns Celeb

To: Charonda
From: Erin Arvedlund

Dear Charonda-

Irv Picard forwarded me your note i.e. your availability to house-sit. While I don't have a mansion just yet, and my "crib" isn't quite Madoff-esque, I am in need of someone to watch my place while I tour the country promoting my new book.

If you'd like to meet, my publisher is hosting a cocktail party and book-signing tomorrow night from 6-9 pm in NYC at the Penn Club (30 W. 44).. Drinks and munchies are free--and judging by this morning's news (see the clip below), you could probably use a few free drinks.

RSVP to :Christy.Dagostini@US.penguingroup.com

To: Andy

Sweetkins-
My publisher says that they'd be more than happy to underwrite the cost of a car service for your appearance tomorrow night at the book party.

As far as your request for a $5000 speaking engagement fee, I'd think you'd have to say more than "F--k you, B-tch!" in order to arouse their interest. As it is, my speaking engagement fees are only $2000, but if you want to talk about doing a tour together, I'm happy to have you speak with my new agent at the book party tomorrow night; just don't start in with the bitch-slapping stuff when you meet him.

BTW--I'm not a market Savant like your Dad, but I have friends that agree with Bernie i.e. the market's going down 1000 pts before it goes up another 200.

That said, I'm staying long Verizon; I'm hearing that the "rebates" they're providing by sending out debit cards instead of checks is going to add $10 million to their NOI this quarter. Mark was apparently spot on when he suggested that at least 80% of the rebates aren't being cashed in, and the cards are winding up in the trash.

On the political pontificating side, Bernie's going to be prescient again; the Afghanistan issue is going to be Obama's Vietnam if he doesn't realize this isn't a place we need to be.

Even if Dick Cheney recommends sending in another 100,000 troops so that we can "secure the poppy fields", I just don't think the American people want our soldiers in yet another place where people have been killing each other for hundreds of years and would rather be left alone.

Erin

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on September 15, 2009 (boomark / email).