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Adventures in Lawyering

So far life as a lawyer has been fairly uneventful, which I suppose is good because it means that I haven't been fired and that I still have my bar license. However, that doesn't mean that working in the traffic division isn't entertaining, it's not as interesting on an academic type level as the felony division was, but the outrageous stories and excuses I get to hear on a daily basis really do make my day. In the 7 days I have been in the traffic division so far I have heard almost every excuse under the sun as to why people got a ticket, didn't renew their license plates, couldn't make their court dates, etc. But today I got the excuse that took the cake:

Me: "Ms. Driver, it looks like you got a ticket for not having valid auto insurance, is that correct?"
Driver: "Ummm well yes but I can explain, I had insurance when I was pulled over, I just didn't have the insurance card in my car."
Me: "Okay, well did you bring your insurance card with you to court today?"
Driver: "I brought what is left of it."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Driver: "I know this sounds ridiculous and I know you must hear a thousand excuses every day, and this one is the lamest one in the book, but my dog ate it."
Me: "Pardon?"
Driver: "Here, look- I brought what's left of it."

Driver pulls out piece of chewed up paper that is barely recognizable.

Needless to say we continued the case to give Driver time to call insurance agent and get a replacement insurance card . . .

Full post as published by [ Useless Dicta ] on October 28, 2009 (boomark / email).