Family Law

Tips to Help Divorced Parents Make Halloween Fun For Their Children

By Ben Stevens

What should you do for Halloween in order for everyone to have a good time, despite the fact that you're no longer living in the same house together as a family?  Divorce360.com compiled the following tips from several experts to help with this situation:

1. Keep children informed. Let the child know ahead of time what will happen on the holiday "so that different expectations will not arise," Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D. said.
2. Don't put the kids in the middle.  Don't ask, 'Do you want to spend Halloween at my house of your mom's (or dad's)?', " said Jann Blackstone Ford, Ph.D.. "That approach tests your child's allegiance. Better to ask, 'Where would you like to spend Halloween?"'
3. Share your children.  "If possible, see if you can share the time during a holiday so that all participate. Perhaps each parent can take half of the time. Or, for Halloween, for example, perhaps one parent can get the costumes and dress the child and the other parent go with them for the trick and treating," Dr. Shoshanna said.
4. Treat the other parent well.  According to Dr. Shoshanna, it is "very helpful for children to see that their parents are treating one another respectuflly during holiday times (as always). Don't use this occasion to reminisce about the pass or say negative things about your ex."
5. Make your own plans.  If you're a parent who is alone during a holiday, don't make a big deal about it or create upset about it in the child. Find a friend to share the time with. Or, use the time to volunteer and be with others. "You don't want to child to feel that they're enjoying the holiday while the other parent is sad or alone," Dr. Shoshanna said. "This may create guilt in them and prevent them from having a good time."

Source: "Parenting: Tips to Help You and your Ex Make this Halloween Fun for the Kids" by Divorce360.com.

Full post as published by SC Family Law Blog on October 29, 2009 (boomark / email).