Family Law

Thinking about popping the question on Valentine's Day? You might want to pop the prenup shortly thereafter.

Prenuptial agreements no longer are limited to the very wealthy, says Cheryl Lynn Hepfer, a past president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Among those who should consider signing one before promising to love, honor and cherish: professionals earning big bucks or with the prospect of substantial earnings later; anyone with children from previous relationships; beneficiaries of a future big inheritance; and people who own or expect to buy property.

Statistics on prenups are hard to come by, but experts say about 20% of people on their second or subsequent marriage get a prenup. An estimated 5% to 10% of people walking down the aisle for the first time sign them.

The prenup can be a tough subject, so consider having a financial planner, premarital counselor or other third party broach it, says Mark Oleson, a personal-finance professor at the University of Missouri-Columbia and a marriage therapist.

These days, prenups cover a lot more than dividing assets in case of divorce or setting aside money for children from a previous relationship. They also may include such things as who would get how much from a retirement account, how to handle finances if a partner becomes disabled, tax planning and the naming of beneficiaries in case of death. Nearly a third of the lawyers responding to an American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers survey said they had seen provisions for a pet.

The first prenup step: Find two lawyers specializing in such agreements. Each party should be represented separately. Inadequate representation can void an agreement later.

Future spouses should first talk things over generally and then instruct the lawyers. Be prepared to discuss your situation in detail with your attorney so the prenup can be structured for as many eventualities as possible. You'll need to provide the attorney with information about income, expenses, assets and liabilities.

Be thorough; lack of disclosure also can render the prenup invalid. "If [an agreement] is too detailed, that's going to be less of a problem than if you're not detailed enough," Prof. Oleson says. Someone who uses money set aside for her child's education to buy a house when she remarries, for instance, may not be able get that money back later to pay tuition without a specific prenup provision.

Generally, the lawyer representing the party who requests the prenup -- usually the wealthier one -- drafts a proposed agreement, which can be revised during subsequent talks. To keep emotions out of it, leave the bulk of negotiations to the lawyers. You may see multiple drafts. Read each carefully, comparing it to the previous draft, so you know what has changed.

If you don't understand something, ask your lawyer. This could be among the most important documents you ever sign. It's best to get the prenup wrapped up six months before the wedding. Agreements can be invalidated if signed under duress.

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