Family Law

Q. After 18 years of Catholic education, I felt pretty solid in my faith, but now I'm confused. When my husband turned out to be abusive, the priests I consulted told me to try harder, that I didn't "love him enough."

Finally, after I'd seen several counselors and endured 15 years of increasing desperation, a priest advised me to divorce this man. When I questioned the moral acceptability of divorce for a Catholic, he was incredulous. Wasn't I responsible for following my own conscience?

I didn't know I could have gotten divorced and remained a Catholic in good standing. What's more, I felt betrayed. Why, after all my education and practice of my faith, had none of the priests I'd turned to ever mentioned this possibility?

I did get divorced, and it was the most morally right decision I've ever made, for my children and myself. But there was a chink in my faith. My church no longer allows me to receive Communion, among other signs of disapproval. Again, I felt betrayed. -- Anonymous, Buffalo, N.Y.

A. We're happy to correct one of the most common misconceptions about Catholic law and Communion. To say that divorced Catholics cannot receive Communion is utterly false.

The issue for divorced Catholics is not divorce but remarriage. If they remarry without first procuring an annulment of their previous marriage, and they then marry outside the Church, they are then -- and only then --unable to receive the Eucharist.

Q & A from the Sun Sentinal.