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Help A Sister Out

Fashionista has a dilemma so I told her I'd see if I could help a girl out by getting some insight from the bloggy world.

She's known this guy, we'll call him B, for about five years now. They were pretty close friends in college but fell out of touch when she went to law school and he went abroad with the Peace Corps. They never dated, they always had other significant others when they were friends in college. Now Fashionista has moved back to her home state and B is back from the Peace Corps so they've been hanging out, basically picking up the old college friendship where they left off. Neither one of them are seeing other people at the moment. Over the past month or so Fashionista has started to feel like she'd like to be something more than just buddies. She has no idea if he feels the same way, they haven't discussed the issue and as far as she can tell he's treating her like just another one of the guys. She asked me the other day if I thought she should just take a leap and ask him out. I had no idea what to tell her. On the one hand she values the friendship and doesn't want to make the current friendship awkward or strange. On the other hand if she doesn't take the leap of faith and ask him how he feels about going out on a date then she might never know the answer and she might be missing out on something great.

I've been in the situation of turning a friendship into something more and it definitely changes the whole dynamic. Knowing what I know now I really feel like there's no turning back once you go down that road. That's not to say that you can't maintain a friendship should a more romantic relationship not work out, but any friendship that happens to turn into something more than friendship is forever changed once that door is opened. That being said I'm a big fan of finding a significant other who is also a best friend, and I think some of the best relationships grow out of friendships. So that leaves me stuck with giving Fashionista pretty unhelpful commentary- either it could be great if he feels the same way or it could also be good to just leave the status quo alone.

She asked me to enlist the help of the others, she's definitely approaching this like a lawyer and conducting all of the research before engaging in some serious analysis to decide what to do. So come on bloggy world, help a sister out!

Full post as published by [ Useless Dicta ] on September 23, 2009 (boomark / email).