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Family Law

: California Divorce and Family Law

Marriage counseling not a bad idea even if divorce is imminent

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From Dear Amy in the Denver Post: A week before Christmas, my children and I learned that my wife of 22 years had a boyfriend. She moved from the home in January. I started seeing a counselor immediately after learning of her affair. Since her departure, I have discovered that she has had several other marital indiscretions. She continues to see her boyfriend.

Recently, she decided to join me at my counselor appointment. We have gone two times together. We have learned that communication was our big pitfall, and the counselor is working on that issue. I sincerely "love" my wife and pray for reconciliation. Do you think it is too late for marital repair, or is this just a step for her to reach a "friendly" divorce? - Jay

Dear Jay: If you're asking me to interpret your wife's motivation in attending counseling sessions with you, I can't. I can tell you this, however. It's never too late for marital repair. It's never too late to learn how to communicate with someone who has been in your life for more than 22 years.

If your wife is only interested in an amicable breakup, then counseling will help with that too. "Marriage counseling" might seem completely beside the point when a marriage is ending, but I would urge both of you to continue. An amicable breakup sure beats the other kind of breakup. It leaves the door open for friendship and reconciliation, and whether or not your marriage is over; reconciliation of the spiritual (not just the marriage-saving) kind will be good for the whole family.

Full post as published by California Divorce and Family Law on October 17, 2006 (boomark / email).

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