Law Humor

Let The Sentencing Games Begin

As the real trader in the family, and for all of you option trading quants, algo alchemists, market-making mavens, and sentencing guideline guru?s, this is to let you know that we've teamed up with Finalternatives.com to invite you to take out your calculators and party in a prediction pool unlike any other.

Sure, Bernie?s going to be sentenced to jail. If not on Monday, then sometime soon. And sooner than SIPC can be expected to pay out most of the claims.

But, your challenge is guessing what Judge Denny Chin is going to decide.

Instead of having to guess on the exact sentence, we?ll make this sporting for those of you geeks still using the same greeks that you used for predicting pay-outs on sub-prime mortgage trades.

That means you can select from within the range of sentences that are likely. Just scroll the right. You'll notice that we have a special feature on our site that provides for real payouts, subject to submitting a minimum donation into the tip box.

How else would we know who to pay out? What? Do you think we have your original investment on microfiche??

So, now you're asking yourself "Is this for real??" "Is this legal?"

And, for all of you guys and gals logging in every day from government-owned offices (yes, we know there are many of you; Frankie D. made sure that we had access to the traffic logs), I'm sure you're asking yourself "Can I play too??"

This is open to all "Alpha-types", including government employees whose initials start with IRS, DOJ, or any other acronym. BUT..SEC staffers must first provide an affidavit that you weren't provided any inside information from Judge Chin's office.

All of the rules, disclaimers, caveats and even a coupon for caviar appear at the bottom of the blog. But, for any of you pussy's that are afraid that your "winning" might be subject to a clawback, instead of paying you off the old fashioned way, Caoni Chocolate will be providing a special treat for you. Click here for that.

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Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 25, 2009 (boomark / email).