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: the last refuge of the persecuted crack smoker

waiting in line with an accordion

By "Nicolle"

so, i did try out for American Idol on Monday. it was weird.

• i was up by 3:30am, in a cab by 4:00am, and at United Center by 4:25. im used to seeing these times on clocks, of course, but only *before* i have gone to bed. by then, i was still in the third corral of people: not one of the first there, but by no means among the last,, since we weren't told to be there until 5am, and were told that the absolute latest we could arrive was 8am. how early we showed up had no bearing on where i sat, but it allowed me to watch the in-line shenanigans, and possibly entertain a few camera-people if they came by. it was worth it, since i was going for the experience.
  
• waiting in line is bizarre. it's full of a few people who are there for the laughs, a few people who are there for fun, and a lot of people who think that american idol is SRS BSNS and/or their future. so many people are singing, and many of them come off like they are doing it in a really, really showy way. hint: THE JUDGES ARE NOT WANDERING THROUGH THE LINE OUT FRONT. IT IS 5AM. THEY ARE SLEEPING.
• most of the day involved waiting: the line out front, the stands while the better sections filed in to audition, the line to get downstairs, the line on the arena floor to see the judges. i still don't see how i had the patience for all those lines, especially for something i was doing just for laughs. but, i did.
• just before i went, i decided that i was going to do something weird in order to troll all the people who bring their acoustic guitars with them. i don't have an acoustic guitar, but i do have a toy concertina. i was pretty sure that playing a squeezebox would make me stand out, and i sure was right. a few camera-people decided to chat with me and have me play it for them. (including the one for the Chicago Tribune--fast forward to about 1:55 in!) i got lots of funny looks, especially when i was inside playing around with it in my seat while i waited to audition. however, what fun is going to an event like that if you can't freak out the mundanes a bit?
  
• if i hear "hot n cold" by katy perry one more time, i am going to punch a hole in a wall.
  

Full post as published by the last refuge of the persecuted crack smoker on June 26, 2009 (boomark / email).