Law Humor

Enough is Not Enough!!

To: Bernie
From: Ezra

First, I need you stop calling Irving Picard a "nose picker". I've got enough tsuris with this kid Cuomo.

All your nutty blog postings have put a magnifying glass on me, and now people are saying I look like the goniff to the left.

Sure, I might have personally made a few hundred million in fees over the years, that's no secret! Anybody that comes to our house can see how I invested the money..Its all over the walls! But so did Stan Chais, and Sonja, Sandra, and a few others. What was the crime?? None!

But these clawyer idiots over at Picard's office can't figure out that my investors didn't take out nearly as much money as they put in. Sure they took out hundreds of millions, but they put in hundreds of millions. Billions even!!

I should be expected to have accurate records of everything?? Does Hank Paulson have an accurate record of what he sent to AIG and what he got back in return??!! I don't think so!

Tell me, Bernie--I hear that Norman Hsu is your roommate now.. Is this true?? Oy. Vic Teicher warned me about this man years ago--I hear that he cheats in backgammon. Watch yourself.

One last thing old friend--this report below--Lauren is hoping that maybe Shana can take her shopping to some new places. Daphne was never much of a clothes horse--and don't make any comments about her looking like a horse! Not everyone had the black book that you and Pete had!

Speaking of Vic Teicher--don't worry about what he says to Erin. I'm thinking that everyone is confused at this point, so whatever anybody says or writes---who can you believe?? And when that guy Harbeck says that 'plenty of people' have gotten SIPC checks--I don't know how anybody would know that's true either!

Last-maybe you can give me some --I made a bunch of loans to people in my family too--maybe not as big as the loans you and Ruth made to your people--but I'm thinking that I should be raising the interest rates on my loans. F--king Citi spiked the rates on all of my credit cards and the spreads are killing me. Are you raising your rates?

By the way--Those boys at Sable's know this guy Hsu--all these Chinese seem to be related to each other--so they're sending over a special basket of bagels for you guys tomorrow.

Filing By Irving H. Picard

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on May 08, 2009 (boomark / email).