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Family Law

: Rhode Island Divorce Tips

A Tip from one of Rhode Island's Divorce Lawyers. The Four (4) Major Factors!

By Attorney Christopher A. Pearsall

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Originally the Rhode Island Family Court and divorce proceedings were part of the Rhode Island Superior Court. Though they remained a court of superior jurisdiction, the Family Court was created to address family related matters which in and of themselves comprised a substantial number of cases focused on the specific subject of legal matters dealing with relationships, the well-being of the family unit and contracts such as marriage.

Seeing the need for a separate court to address divorces and relationships which resulted in contract-like situations, the RI General Assembly established the Rhode Island Family Court system and its underlying structure.

It is helpful and important to know that Rhode Island Divorce lawyers often deal with very emotional issues for their clients because with marriage often comes divorce - the severing of the living situation, financial dependencies the parties have with each other, the children borne of the marriage, and the assets and debts accumulated during the courts of the marriage.

It is extremely help however to understand that the RI Family Court system arose out of the Superior Courts due, in large part, to the contractual nature of marriage.

A marriage, though not viewed by many people as such, is in fact a contract. During that contract children may be born, assets may be acquired, debts may be accumulated and one of the parties may need financial assistance to survive the dissolution of the marriage contract.

Do you want to get through your divorce and move on with your life as quickly as possible? Then as difficult it is, put aside your emotions and think about where the judge is sitting and what he or she must do.

Imagine your case the way the judge does. The judge sits there day in and day out hearing all kinds of saga, including emotions, hard luck stories, bitter retorts, vindictive statements, heartfelt pleas to punish the other spouse and more. Yet the judge isn't there to be your counselor or to take the court's time so that you can say your piece just to get it off your chest and feel somewhat better just for having said it.

The judge sits on the bench in a divorce case to help the parties reach an equitable result to the dissolution to your marriage contract.

Think about the judge's role and take the most direct result to the resolution of your divorce that is fair and reasonable or that is acceptable to you.

While the judge sits on the bench he or she has a specific role, namely to identify and deal with the important aspects of what your marriage produced. Usually it is fairly straightforward.

1) Minor Children
2) Marital Assets
3) Marital Debt
4) A Spouse's ability to financially survive after the divorce.

While it is true that each of these items has each of its own characteristics, a divorce can reasonably be converted down into these four (4) basic elements for the purposes of understanding how you can help yourself through it.

This is simply a practical tip that will help any party to a divorce, IF, you can do it.

1) Put your emotions of rejection, anger, feelings of fault, depression, and all other emotions about your relationship away as much as possible when dealing with your Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer.

Why? Because lawyers address the legal issues the court will rule on and unless they have counseling training for mental health issues, they are not the best ones to voice those concerns too.

I am not recommending that you bury your feelings or that you don't deal with them at all. I am suggesting that you find a good psychologist, psychotherapist, individual counselor, family counselor and/or marriage counselor and talk them out, whether they be feelings about your spouse's infidelity or your own insecurity or fears. Your emotions should be dealt with by a professional skilled in mental health and emotional issues.

2) Focus on what the judge must deal with in your marriage. Those are the four points I have listed above. These are at the center of your Rhode Island divorce. If you can remove the emotion from these points and focus on them in the order they are listed and decide upon them in the order in which they are listed then you will have the best opportunity to resolve your divorce as quickly and and effectively as possible to move on with your life.

The Rhode Island family courts are not a forum for waging vendettas and punishing your spouse for the wrongdoing you believe he or she has committed that have caused you to feel hurt or embarrassment. Move on with your life sensibly and maintain your self-respect and dignity. In this way, your life will grow and be enhanced much more quickly.

Life is all about change but not all change is bad. Divorce is a big change for spouses and for children but it need not be a bad change. Divorce is not only an ending of something you are familiar with, it is the beginning of something new, a great adventure that may bring you untold happiness without measure.

Embrace it and Live for You!

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall
RI Divorce and Family Lawyer
70 Dogwood Drive, Suite 304
West Warwick, RI 02893

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