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: Butterflyfish

Plus with pressure and time, you get a diamond

I try really hard to tell Clownfish the truth about things when he asks.*
Case in point:

CF: Mommy look at that dog! What is that near his butt?
Me: That is his penis. Like you have a penis.
CF: Oh... no that's his penis in front. What is that in the back?
Me: Those are his testicles.
CF: I want testicles that big.

Did I mention we had this conversation in front of one of my law professors?

I try to do it in a way that he can understand, and I leave out details. So when he went to bed and then about an hour later came out to use the bathroom, he came in and asked what I was watching on television.

Me: It's a show that's a little too scary for you but not too scary for me.
CF: Tell me a little about it.
Me: Well, there is this girl and she pretends to be different people and she helps people. But sometimes people chase her and scary things happen.
CF: Like what? (insert obligatory mommy tone sending him back to bed and his adorable negotiations and promises about going right back to bed if we talk just a little more) Tell me one thing scary.
Me: Well you know how mommy drives very carefully? Sometimes the girl has to drive a car and it crashes into things, but since its television no one really gets hurt.
CF: Well if you drove like that the police would come. And you wouldn't get any presents from Santa or the Easter Bunny. You'd get coal. You shouldn't drive and crash into things.

If Clownfish ran the world, the worst thing that would happen to any of us is coal in our stockings.

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Ok, yes I lie about the existence of childhood things like Santa/Easter Bunny. I lied when he asked me recently if me and Bullshark were Santa. He's four. He can't handle that truth yet. Or maybe I can't handle him not believing.

Full post as published by Butterflyfish on May 04, 2009 (boomark / email).