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: Butterflyfish

Lies my parents told me

This started as a comment at CM's place, but it became a little long, so I decided to post it here instead.

My dad has a birthmark on his arm. He convinced us (for years) that it was a pirate tattoo and that he met my mom on a pirate ship.

My mom had a picture of her dad (my granddad) next to of those cardboard celebrity cut outs (Ronald Reagan as it happens) -- she sent me to school with it. I told everyone about how my Irish grandfather knew the President. I got into a fist fight with the kid who didn't believe it was real AND yelled at my teacher for questioning its validity. My mom had to come pick me up. I got in trouble. She never did admit it wasn't a real picture.

Not quite a lie my mother told me, but worthy all the same. My mom showed a picture of me with a cousin to a bunch of my 5th grade classmates and tried to convince them he was my boyfriend. I tried to argue/correct it but it was in front of people and Mom did not take kindly to being contradicted in front of other people. Later, I asked her why she would do that to me and she said it was because she 'felt bad' that I didn't have a boyfriend. She was trying to "help." Oh, did I mention that one of my classmates was also my neighbor and knew the boy was my cousin? And that anyone else with a brain could figure it out because we both have red hair? Yeah.

Mom had issues. Probably came from her years as a pirate.

Full post as published by Butterflyfish on April 23, 2009 (boomark / email).