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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Madoff Media LLC ...The Next Generation..

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4.20


From: Ben Silverman
Co-Chairman, NBC Entertainment

To: Mark Madoff
cc: Bernie Madoff

RE: Proposals

Gentlemen:
The poetic irony of today's date shouldn't cause Andy to get the wrong idea when he's busy banging out story ideas, and if Don Trump's message to you over the weekend didn't strike a chord, you can see by the poster on the wall behind me, I'm serious about this.

We need to get some contracts signed before the the next tidal wave of law suits comes in. Immelt's already given me a blank check, but the legal department here needs real paper. And not the type of stuff that Shana or Marcia were signing.

And, per the email below, the one that one of your people sent me at 4.20 this morning, it appears that I'm not the only one high on this idea, but this week we'll be focusing on some stress tests, so any extra 420, even those brownies, will be fine.

One thing that did jump off the page from the outline you sent was Ruthie's character. Even I couldn't have dreamed up a Cougar character like her! Mark, what do we need to do to get your Mom on board??

And tell Shana that we're looking at the photo elements and trying to come up with matches. The gal in the middle seems like a perfect match to play Eric's current love interest, and tell her that it doesn't matter if the rumors are true or if they're not, or if these two are actually rolling in the hay out in Iowa.

The fact that she's spent plenty of money on PI's doesn't matter. This is the media, and we can make up anything that we want. As a matter of fact, we actually follow the same story boarding techniques that the water boarding guys do. So its all good.

That other scene, the one with your Uncle Pete trolling on SeekingArrangement.com and hooking up with one of Walter Noel's kids was priceless, but we need her to sign a release. If their office in Greenwich is still open--I can send a messenger from 30 Rock before the end of the day.

As far as this outline--your people should really get yourselves some professional writers to clean this up--if those accounts are still frozen, maybe your 'fans' can help subsidize it and they can leave some tips in the gratuity box over to the right. Its PayPal protected

Cold Open:

Ruth and Bernie types - recently, very well dressed and groomed -

Sitting by themselves at a table in a fancy New York Italian restaurant...

Her hand is on his arm, she is leaning in and talking and talking.There is no food in front of her - just a full ashtray - he has a cup and plate.

He takes out a Cuban cigar, bites off the end but doesn't light it, he spits it into his coffee cup. He is full of disgust for her, for other people who aren't as smart as he is. There is chest hair showing from his open collar.

He signs the check, and they leave,

She is still talking - he nods slightly at each piece of information.

Her voice over - confidentially low, but easy to understand. She is whispering in his hairy ear,

"So, those people over there ? He got a seven mill bonus from a family company, she's from nothing." He plays golf. she shops.

"That guy there - he's gay and his lover just left him 10 million and a house. He's decorating and looking for love in the wrong places. Also, he finds it - every night."

"The couple in the corner there, her with the big diamond earrings- inherited all of downtown Des Moines" -And that's just for tomorrow, darling"

They get into a big black Mercedes - no driver -

Credits......

" Midasty"

A man and his wife together conquer the world but lose - all of YOUR money!

Scene One: Bernie is sitting in a gorgeous velvet chair in a fabulously over-decorated living room. He is watching sports and the stock ticker on two flat screens:

Great art work surrounds the TV's.

Young guy ( grad school age) runs in - He is attractive but very weak looking. He looks like an early Chandler Bing...sweater, golf shirt, great jeans.

"Dad, Dad.. Can I borrow the boat this weekend? I have some friends from Business school who want to go sport fishing"

Dad looks up as if he doesn't really know who this kid is.

"Sure, Andy, but call the captain NOW and make sure everything is stocked up - food, bait, beer - and if you kids get sick again and throw up on my Orientals, this is absolutely the last time.."

"Right Dad---got it " son runs out slamming the heavy door, Bernie winces and

flashes back on small kitchen with linoleum on the floor and a formica table covered with papers and files and an old fashioned adding machine.

Older lady ( his dead mother) is at the table. ( she looks like Olivia in Sopranos). She is adding numbers by pulling that old lever, and is very tired

"Oh God" I cant make these damn numbers add up - I'll do it one more time, then.. the hell with it - I'l make them up, who'll ever know?"

Back to Bernie in lovely room, he smiles.

"Mama was right" he says to himself. "No one ever really knows."


Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on April 20, 2009 (boomark / email).

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