Law Humor

Bernie Brainstorming from Behind Bars

Mark-

Thanks for stopping by. The f--king guards took the turkey sandwich. Fine. Let them enjoy.

The book that you left was very thoughtful, but since your brother is going to need to figure out how to survive on his own for a change, you should give it to him.

Its not like he inherited any Midas touch, and if anyone needs to learn how to trade smarter, its him.

Now that I think about it, you should probably buy a case of these books from that guy Covel, and hand them out to all of the people from 19. Its not like any of them were such great traders either. Have Enrica write a check for them.

Next: Your Mother shouldn't be food shopping by herself; I expect you to show a little more appreciation and look after her better. Its not like I expected Marion to do anything for her. We talked about this on the night of firm's party.

Next: Get hold of Sonny D. and explain to him that Marcia only did what I told her to do, and that there's a reason why he hasn't got a check for the past two months. I'm thinking this guy took one too many karate lessons and his brains must be rattled.

Next: Paul says that you might not make the best front man for the tax shelter program. Sure, its a winner; there's a few billion in carry forwards that can be packaged. Boca Rio and WPBB have already scheduled presentation times, but its going to have to be pitched by middle men, not high profile people like you. Dopamine is working on Carl, but if you need some work to do, I'm thinking 19 is a f--king mess, and it should be kept clean. You know how I can't stand a mess.

Also- Check on the TP order that should have come in from the people running this place. They promised they would be buying 2 pallets, and believe me, after the dreck everyone is forced to eat in here, its not like they don't need to keep the place stocked. Tell them they can order online right here, and just scroll to the right. This place could also a lot more hand sanitizer, and we've got the perfect kind right here on the blog, the non-alcohol kind. Scroll to the right.

Last: Send that kid Spitzer a note and tell him he needs to talk to Cuomo about wanting to publish a list of AIG employees. Not my business, but since everyone wants to know my opinion on things, that idea is about the stupidiest thing I've heard this week. Ask him if he'd like Peter's little black book to be published. He'll understand.

The f--king world is going nuts, and Ira says that I couldn't plead insanity because everyone else is crazier than I am. All anyone has to do is listen to that Barney Fubble, (I mean Frank)...hey, you like that? Everytime I see that guy on TV, I can't figure out if he reminds me of Barney Fife or Barney Rubble, so I'm thinking "Fubble".

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on March 21, 2009 (boomark / email).