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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

TALF Funds Rejected by Bank of Greenwich; TALC Option Embraced By Shvitzers

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To Noel L.
From: BLM

Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. Yesterday was a hectic day, and I've been busy all day today preparing for my stupid speech tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm thinking that your idea about Bank of Greenwich turning down the "TALF" money is the right move, even if Walter and some of the other depositors are kvetching about the values of their properties and that some of the others are getting very nervous.

Sure, they want to use this opportunity to expand their credit lines. But, you're right, this new government lending program requires banks like your's to answer way too many questions. You and I feel the same way about answering too many questions.

If you ask me, aside from having some hiring problems, the only mistake President Obama has made so far is not keeping Hank Paulson around. He knew how to give banks money!

Any way, based on your voice message, you sounded kind of stressed, and I'm thinking that Forget the TALF; what you really need right now is some TALC!! So, we're having Marc Polish introduce a special talcum powder to the product line for all of the shvitzers out there.

You're not the only one shvitzing right now, trust me. Spitzer's a shvitzer, what with those latest news stories. And, Thain called to say he was starting to drip in shvitz thanks to that kid Cuomo busting his balls again. I'm thinking Ken Lewis should be shvitzing too.

And trust me, Sonny & Sonny, and Dopamine have been shvitzing for weeks, along with a bunch of others. But we've covered that.

But not me. And, not Baby Ruth. We're not shvitzing. We're thinking "let everybody else shvitz and we can sell some talcum powder!!" It'll be a perfect compliment to the Madoff Mania line of toilet paper and pisher pads! BTW- We need to get these products placed with the people at Terrapin. They'd love this stuff...along with the hand sanitizer line.

Let's talk on Friday. Tomorrow is going to be another media circus.
BLM

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on March 11, 2009 (boomark / email).