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But the technology? The technology can kiss my caboose. 

This might seem like a natural statement but: turning lights on & off is not difficult. 

Right? Wrong. 

If you live at my parents house you have lighting "schemes" and "smart panels" and lots and lots of lights. Over the dining room table is a large light fixture that gives out soft light, however there are also 10 tiny halogen cans surrounding it, so when entertaining with the crystal, the halogens can be turned on to create a prism effect on the table. The cabinets in the bar are also lit from within with halogen for the same reason. In the library there is ambient lights and then stronger lights for reading. Lots and lots of lights, not just, you know, a light! In the room! Overhead! But lighting *choices*. 

And none of these lights have simple on & off switches. At least none that I can find. 

Instead, there are smart panels and lighting "schemes"- dreary, entertaining, movie, reading, security, the dog is taking a nap we shall not disturb him. The other night I was on my laptop and my parents went to bed and left soft ambient light glowing from the library, the great room & the dining room table where I was, a scheme called "dreary." An hour later when I went to bed I realized I couldn't find any light switches. I tried clapping. I went to the smart panel and fumbled around but the only schemes I could find were entertaining and reading. Where was bed? Goodnight? Sweet dreams? 

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I could not turn the lights off. In what is theoretically my own house. 

I eventually found a master panel of switches behind some books in the library and mashed them all around and turned about half the lights off. I also somehow turned my parents iTunes on in the living room but I think Coldplay is very lullaby-like-music. Whatever.

* * * 

Please oogle over Baby Z and all his delicious hair. And chubby thighs. And pure cutie-ness. I bought him a book called Chicken Cheeks. My favorite line in the book? Duck-Bill-Platypus-Gluteus-Maximus. The only line that even comes close is Moose-Caboose. Or maybe Turkey Tushie.  Yes, I bought my nephew a book about animal butts. 

 

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