Law Students

Sea What?

By Pete

I’ve you’ve been a PeteHoliday.com reader for any appreciable amount of time, it should come as no surprise to you that I am not a member of PeTA. In fact, while I love animals¹, I do not labor under the assumption that they are people nor that they deserve the same rights as people. Also? PeTA’s crazy, y’all.

Take, for example, PeTA’s latest campaign to rename fish. Henceforth, they want them to be known as Sea Kittens.

PeTA has this to say about the campaign:

People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads?which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones?well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy?stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

Where does one even start? First, I guess I should point out that I could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten because those things are fucking delicious.

The campaign is silly, but I think it still just comes down to my fundamental disagreement with PeTA: we humans did not fight and claw our way to the top of the food-chain to eat tofu. I’m sorry, but if god hadn’t wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn’t have made them taste so good.

One curiosity — they have a flash movie to create your own sea kittens. Basically you take a fish and then you dress it up.

“With what,” you ask? Oh, you know, all of the normal stuff you might find on a kitten: tiaras, elephant noses, mustaches, etc.

Yes, really.

So I guess the moral of the story is that if you see a fish sea kitten with a mustache and a biker jacket, DON’T EAT IT. Thanks, PeTA.

1. They’re great with barbecue sauce!

Full post as published by PeteHoliday.com on January 30, 2009 (boomark / email).