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Law Humor

: Say What!

By Judge Jerry Buchmeyer

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June 1990 - I?m Glad We Cleared That Up

From March Lynn Rothmas of Beaumont (Benckenstein, Oxford, etc.), this remarkable(!) excerpt from a deposition taken by Mary Ellen Blade, a partner at the same firm:

Q. Did you die, as far as you know?

A. I don?t know nothing.

Q. Has anybody told you that you died?

A. Yes, ma?am.

Q. Who told you that you died?

A. My cousins and my wife and the other people.

Q. What other people?

A. The ? friends.

Q. Did any doctor ever tell you that you died?

A. Yeah, my doctor, too.

Q. But you don?t remember it yourself?

A. No. How can you remember you?re dead? You no can remember.

Q. I was kind of curious to see if you had any recollection of it. Do you know how long you were supposed to have been dead?

A. No, ma?am.
*****

This excerpt comes from a deposition taken by Barry S. Green of Fort Worth (Camp, Jones, etc.) ? an avowed male lawyer ? of ?a female workers? compensation claimant.? (The plaintiff-witness has testified that she has severe pains in her shoulder, her back, and her hips.)

Q. Let?s break down the different problems that you?re having. The shoulder pain itself, can you give me any words to describe what that feels like?

A. Have you ever wore a bra that was too tight on you?

Q. If I said yes my mother would be very astonished. No, I can?t say I have.

A. Like something pushing down and then it?s on fire, too.

Barry adds: ?I want your readers to understand that my response to the witness?s question should be interpreted as an emphatic ?no,? regardless of what my mother would think.?

Full post as published by Say What! on January 12, 2009 (boomark / email).

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