Home -> Law Blog Directory -> Law Humor Blogs -> Bernard Madoff

Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Why a TARP Bailout of Madoff Makes Sense. Just Ask Uncle Sam's IRS

When you get over the fact that my firm encountered the same calamity as Bear Stearns and Lehman, you'll immediately ask yourself, and your Senator, "What did we learn from allowing those two firms to effectively fail..?"

In the case of Madoff Securities and our inter-twined, multi-ledger platform, there are 3 excellent reasons why out-going President Bush will want to use the next ten days of his Presidency to pull a rabbit out of the hat and save his legacy, and to prove who "The Decider" really is.

I'll unveil my plan in the days ahead. Before the current US Attorney has to step down from office. And I'll have another plan in hand for President Obama--and it will be hand-delivered by my good friend Mary Shapiro.

But, here's the foundation: If a few fucking greedy bastards didn't insist on pulling out $7 billion overnight, the firm would still be in business.

1. As a result, within the next several months, US investors in my firm will be filing amended tax returns seeking reimbursement of more $2 billion. That's two billion big ones.. Cash. Paid by Uncle Sam to the investors. That means there's a tax angle that can be played. Ask Mr. Paulson over there to my left.

2. The immediate destruction of the firm, and the potential of many investors to have to complete write off the value of their investment will cause wide-spread ripple effects throughout the economy. Much wider than letting the auto makers fail.

In our case, there are dozens of multi-million properties; and even major sports teams and other businesses that have actually leveraged their investing by posting their investment in us as collateral to other lenders.

3. If TARP were to provide a mere $7 billion in cash infusion (a fraction of what was provided to 'the major banks', I hereby guarantee, that subject to myself, my brother, and my sons overseeing the trading operations, that everyone can be made whole (with regard to the principal amount invested), that the government won't have to pay out $2billion in tax refunds, and that all of those people that are busy trying to unload their second homes/apartments, can cancel the real estate listings and go back to normal.

My first step would include putting a freeze on full redemptions, and limit pay outs to everyone of 10% of their original, principal investment over a period of 10 years.

If some have to sell the second property they acquired in the past 10 years based on what they earned from my firm, then so be it. We all need to make sacrifices in this new economy...And Alan Greenspan said exactly what I said :"Even our most sophisticated trading models couldn't have anticipated this.."

Keep coming back to the site...my full plan will unfold well before I even have to submit any more information to the SEC or those dumb shits at the FBI that have been tripping over their own feet for years.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on December 27, 2008 (boomark / email).