Legal Marketing & PR

Because That?s Where The Money Is?

By Mark Merenda

    We had a bank robbery right around the corner from our office a couple of days ago. Somebody walked into the bank, brandished a gun, and walked out with a bagful of money. Our office is in a sleepy little town, Naples, Florida, where it sometimes seems that the most serious crime is drinking your beer at the beach, which will get you busted, dude (See Naples city ordinance Sec. 78-106 (d)).
    However, what really caught my eye was this description of the robber from the story in the Naples Daily News:

"The robber is described as 50 to 60 years old, 5 feet, 8 inches tall
and about 200 pounds. He has light-colored hair and a salt-and-pepper
mustache and was wearing beige shorts, a Hawaiian-type shirt, shower
sandals and a baseball cap."

    Now, you might not know Naples, but this description, including clothing, fits roughly half the male population. Hell, this description fits me, if you overlook the light-colored hair and the mustache ? both of which could be store-bought. I need to change the photo on this blog.
    Still, this is not the typical description of a bank robber in, say, Detroit. It got me to thinking of why he might have done it. And so, with a nod to David Letterman, I composed my Top Ten Reasons a middle aged man in a Hawaiian shirt and shower sandals would rob a bank in Naples, Florida. Drum roll, please…

10. Mercedes mechanic now getting $125 hour
9. Still ten more years until Social Security kicks in
8. Gassing up the boat for an hour of water skiing now requires $250
7. Wife has been watching "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" on ABC
6. Prices on Tommy Bahama clothing skyrocketing
5. Daughter has announced engagement, wants $75,000 wedding ? with ice sculptures.
4. Estate Planning lawyer now charging $475 hour
3. Twenty-five-year-old girlfriend said the words "Manolo Blahnik"
2. Titleist Pro V-1’s cost $55 a dozen

And the number one reason a middle aged man in a Hawaiian shirt and shower sandals would rob a bank in Naples, Florida:

1. Medicare Part D doesn’t cover Viagra

<Flipping card to audience>

Full post as published by Mark Merenda’s SmartBlog on August 03, 2007 (boomark / email).