Personal Injury Law

Wednesday Night Gilbert

SIR JOSEPH (from H.M.S. Pinafore)
by Sir William Schwenck Gilbert (18 November 1836 ? 29 May 1911)

When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an Attorney's firm.
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor,
And I polished up the handle of the big front door.
I polished up that handle so carefullee
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

As office boy I made such a mark
That they gave me the post of a junior clerk.
I served the writs with a smile so bland,
And I copied all the letters in a big round hand--
I copied all the letters in a hand so free,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

In serving writs I made such a name
That an articled clerk I soon became;
I wore clean collars and a brand-new suit
For the pass examination at the Institute,
And that pass examination did so well for me,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip
That they took me into the partnership.
And that junior partnership, I ween,
Was the only ship that I ever had seen.
But that kind of ship so suited me,
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

I grew so rich that I was sent
By a pocket borough into Parliament.
I always voted at my party's call,
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me the Ruler of the Queen's Navee!

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool,
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule--
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea,
And you all may be rulers of the Queen's Navee!

N.B. Unconfirmed reports and speculation circulate among the chattering classes in Kansas that Steve Boyda, the filthy rich trial lawyer husband of Congressperson Nancy Boyda (Democrat, Kansas) will be named by Governor Kathleen Sebelius (Democrat, Kansas) to serve out the remaining term of outgoing Attorney General Paul Morrison (Democrat, Kansas). When we heard about it, we just thought of the operetta. Funny how things work out, innit? Details of the rumor live here.
UPDATE-3:05 p.m., Central U.S. Time Dec. 20, 2007
We don't know what the point of responding to Anonymous comments would be, but it's a slow afternoon and we've got some time on our hands.
What we actually said was, "Unconfirmed reports and speculation circulate among the chattering classes in Kansas that Steve Boyda, the filthy rich trial lawyer husband of Congressperson Nancy Boyda (Democrat, Kansas) will be named by Governor Kathleen Sebelius (Democrat, Kansas) to serve out the remaining term of outgoing Attorney General Paul Morrison (Democrat, Kansas).[Emphasis added]"
We didn't claim anything. We commented on unconfirmed reports and speculation among the chattering classes." This is a significant distinction that carries with it a world of difference. Not that anybody asked us, but we think that it is unlikely that Mrs. Sebelius would actually appoint Mr. Boyda to be Attorney General. More recent, presumably more reliable reports suggest that at the very least, he wants the job.
See, for example, reports carried today by newspapers in Parsons, Topeka and Hays.
The question of whether the Governor is giving the matter serious consideration is a different one, as is the question of whether he has any business trying to fill the shoes of such near-legendary Kansas lawmen as Vern Miller and Curt Schneider .
As for the charge of spreading rumors coming from Stay Red Kansas, you've got us dead to rights on that one. We're guilty. Heck, as Mark Slackmeyer once said of John Mitchell (in 1974, the United States Attorney General), we're "Guilty! Guilty, guilty, guilty!!"
When we start seeing unfounded rumors that suggest amusing poetic references in places like In This Moment, Evolving in Kansas or The Idiot Factor: Todd Tiahrt's Folly (just to pick three leftish Kansas blogs at random), we'll start spreading those, too.

Full post as published by West Neanderthal Drive on December 19, 2007 (boomark / email).