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: Settle It Now Negotiation BlogNew California Custody Blog on Making Mediation Matter
By Victoria Pynchon
See Make Mediation Matter over at Jill P. Rawal's new California Custody Blog. (right, Jill Rawal, fellow U.C. Davis School of Law alum) Excerpt of Ms. Rawal's post below.
Before you go to your mediation, think about what you want. Specifically, you want to think about the following issues:
Write your thoughts down and take the notes to mediation with you.
Once you are in mediation, be prepared to listen to the mediator and the other parent. Mediation is about learning and understanding, it is not about making the other person see that you are right.
- What are your goals?
- What parenting plan (i.e., custody and visitation schedule) would you like to see?
- What about the holidays? Think about your family traditions and what would maximize the child's experience for each parent's special traditions.
- What are your concerns about the other parent's lifestyle or parenting skills?
- What can you do to help the other parent adjust to the new parenting roles?
I don't mediate family law cases myself, but I agree with Ms. Rawal's observation that many attorneys mediate just to get their dance card signed whenever the court system requires mediation. Because I serve on the L.A. Superior Court pro bono ADR Panel and because many Los Angeles lawyers believe they're required to mediate (they aren't if the case has a value in excess of $50K) you'd be surprised how many attorneys appear unprepared and without any hope that the case can be resolved.
I do try not to toot my own horn, but I'm now used to one or more of the attorneys using my services off the pro bono panel saying, "wow! you're good; I never expected this case to settle today."
Yes, well, I'm competent, and if you didn't expect the case to settle with just any assigned mediator from the panel, why would you let your client incur fees for such a fruitless enterprise? This is not, obviously, a question I ever pose to counsel, but it's sure one I think as the parties are putting their John Hancocks on the deal memo.
So attend to Ms. Rawal's advice. You never know when the mediator the court assigns you is actually a full-time skilled professional who can get the job done.
Full post as published by Settle It Now Negotiation Blog on November 07, 2008 (boomark / email).
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