Family Law

Dating After Divorce

By Ben Stevens

Many divorced or divorcing people wonder how and when to reveal their prior marriage to a new love interests.  Christie Hartman, a Denver psychologist and author of Dating the Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide If He's Right for You, gives the following advice:

• If you are going through a divorce, tell the person you are dating pronto. Don't beat around the bush, and don't say you are already divorced if you are still in the process of it.
• More personal information, such as why the marriage failed and the nature of your relationship with your ex, should be saved for a later date when the two of you are more comfortable with each other.
• Don't go into too much detail. Focus on what you learned and how it made you a better person.  Taking this approach decreases the chances of overwhelming your partner.
• Be neutral when speaking about your past partner. If you criticize your ex, you risk sounding petty and emotionally involved. If you heap on praise, you sound as though you still have romantic feelings for your ex.
• Know what you want out of the relationship and what you're capable of.  You should be honest with yourself first, then with potential partners.

Full post as published by SC Family Law Blog on January 09, 2008 (boomark / email).