Law Humor

By Judge Jerry Buchmeyer

From Ronald S. Schmidt of San Antonio (Schmidt & Davis), this excerpt from the deposition of a plaintiff who was claiming that a real estate deed was forged. Ronald explained that the plaintiff's answers were confusing - some documents he admitted signing, but he denied others - so Ronald began questioning the plaintiff (who had been in prison on drug charges) about whether he actually remembered "the incidents surrounding the signing of the questioned documents":

Q. What kind of drug (or controlled substance) had you used?

A. At the time I was using heroin.

Q. How often?

A. When I had any extra bucks.

Q. So, from time to time during 1897, in June of 1987, you were - when you used the heroin, it affected you, didn't it?

A. Yes, sir.

Q. And it could affect your memory, couldn't it.?

A. In so many ways, yes, sir.

Q. It affected the way you felt about things?

A. Yes, sir.

Q. Did it affect your mood?

A. No, not really, sir.

Q. But would you consume enough of it to where you would admit that from time to time during that period you were high because of heroin use?

A. Just feeling normal, just like I am right now. It just made me feel a little bit more active. That's about it.

In other words, as Ronald noted, "the witness basically... felt as good during cross-examination as he did when he consumed heroin."

Full post as published by Say What! on September 29, 2008 (boomark / email).