Legal Research

I Knew the bride ?

By scott

I’m often touched by a kind email. I’ve now won so many millions on Prize draws, and from Nigerians and others wanting to get their money out of countries that I just have too much - I mean there is only so much Viagra and Cialis a man can buy. I don’t want to be greedy, so feel free to let others share in this wealth and joy.

Jim Cragin of Dante Zeller Tuxedo however, doesn’t want to give me money or give me 6 hour erections. Instead, he sent me an email telling me how much he enjoyed meeting me at the bridal show. He hoped I was able to walk away with some great ideas that I could use for my special day, and informed me that the Manager from the location I selected will be contacting me shortly to arrange a time when we can work together in registering my wedding and selecting styles from their extensive collection.

Exciting, isn’t it. Only, I have no idea who Jim is, or Dante Zeller Tuxedo are. I have NEVER been to a bridal show, and have no plans to ever do so. Jim says ‘ thank you for stopping at our booth and signing up with Dante Zeller Tuxedo’. Just how I managed this as DZT seem to be based in New York and surrounding area, and I have only ever been to NY once, and this was a LONG time ago, is something I’d like to know.

I have often thought the idea of a clone of me would be quite nice, but if he is thinking of getting married without checking with me first, then I’m really not so sure I like the idea. Also, if he is the kind of clone that would go to a bridal show, then he probably deserves all he gets. As Groucho Marx once said: Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Jim, Jimmy, can I call you Jimmy? I feel I can, now that we have this special bond. I can see us getting closer and closer in the future, with maybe our children going to different schools together, our sons impregnating a vice presidental nominee daughter, us drinking beer and shooting some stuff. But, I digress, please can you remind me what did we talk about? how did I look? and am I really entitled to your Bridal Show Exclusive offer (”and as we discussed, the groom’s tuxedo will be absolutely free with five paid attendants and the ring bearer’s tuxedo is $79.00″ - Jimmy, I’d like you to be that man holding my ring). Of course, this might explain why I feel so tired this week, I obviously sleep-walked -via international plane travel (don’t you hate it when that happens) to the US and went to a bridal show. It all makes sense now.

Jimmy, what can I say, thanks for the canned precooked meat product.

Full post as published by Information Overload on September 03, 2008 (boomark / email).