Family Law

Whether you are in the middle of a Rhode Island Divorce with a lawyer that you believe is serving your interests well, or you simply have a post-divorce judgment issue that you cannot agree upon with your ex-spouse or the mother of your child(ren), I urge you to consider mediation.

In the Rhode Island family court system when you enter the doors of the courtroom if you do not have an agreement worked out with your spouse then I can tell you four (4) things with a reasonable degree of certainty.

1)  You have lost.
2)  Your spouse has lost.
3)  Your child has lost.
4)  Any paid attorneys in the case have won.

Sadly, people have this idea that they will go into court and blow their spouse or their spouse's attorney out of the water.  If it's not their spouse or ex-spouse then it's some poor child's parent.

Let me emphasize this.  When you walk into family court without an agreement written in stone then you have all lost.  The only one who has won is the attorney who has been paid for his or her services.

Citizens of Rhode Island and those who go before the Rhode Island Family Courts need to realize this fundamental precept and they need to stop grinding the axe with the opposing party and think about the practical consequences of what they are doing.  Drop the emotional baggage!  Leave your anger at the door, focus on the true issue and resolve it before you even enter the courthouse doors.

Stop grinding the axe with your former significant other and if you can't reach an agreement go to a good mediator who will take you through the practicalities of the family court system and help you reach an amicable agreement that each of you can live with.

As Rhode Island Family Court Justice Howard I. Lipsey has wisely told many Rhode Island divorce lawyers and their families in the past.

"I can sit up here and decide this matter for you.  I don't mind doing it.   If you can't put aside your differences and do it yourselves I'll decide what happens to your house, your cars, your family possessions, your assets, your debts, where your children are going to live, and go to school and so on . . . because that's what I'm here to do."

"But let me tell you . . . any decision you two can come to an agreement on is going to be better than anything I come up with.  If this matter has to go to a full hearing on the merits and I have to decide this then you are both going to walk away unhappy.  Trust me when I tell you, any agreement you come up with  is going to be better than any ruling I make about your lives."

A word to the wise . . . stop grinding the axe and mediate your issues.  Do whatever is needed to reach compromise without being clouded by emotion.  Your life, Your Rhode Island Divorce and your family will be the better for it no matter what the matter you have before the court is.