Law Humor

By Judge Jerry Buchmeyer

From J. Redwine Patterson of Dallas (Patterson, Lamberty, etc.) this excerpt from the Lone Star Steel Mill Toxic Tort litigation in East Texas. Redwine explains that, as he is Sometimes Wont To Do, he was making a sketch of the witness while another lawyer began the deposition. However, the witness "wore a baseball-type cap pulled down over his eyes," so Redwine had to "peer sharply at his face to complete the sketch," when ...

Q. Have you made any claims for unemployment compensation?

A. Yes, when I was laid off. That's my right, isn't it?

Q. Yes, sir. When is the last time you've made a claim for unemployment compensation?

A. Back in '89, I think it was.

Q. And the purpose of you filling out these forms is to draw unemployment benefits so that you get a check that you can cash and spend the money. Right?

A. That's my right, wasn't it? Hold it just a minute. (Looking at Mr. Pattersom) Is he trying to hypnotize me over there? Looking at me like that with that pencil over there. Is he trying to hypnotize me or something?

Q. I would severly doubt it. Are you trying to jinx him?

A. No. I don't like to be stared at all the time.

Q. It's like when you sue a bunch of folks you kind of put yourself in a fish bowl, Mr. Kelley, and there's lots of folks that get to look at you and ask you questions and that kind of thing.

A. I'm in a damned fish bowl then.

Q. That's just part of the deal.

Mr. Tooley: He hasn't hypnotized anybody yet this week.

Full post as published by Say What! on September 18, 2008 (boomark / email).