Law Humor

It appears that a driver's request for a bit of Grey Poupon was rather rudely rejected on June 18, according to documents obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Most likely, the request was made in fond remembrance of the famous commercials in which aristocratic gentlemen enjoyed Grey Poupon, which, as those of you who are law firm partners may be aware, is a fine Dijon mustard made with a small amount of white wine.  The 1980s advertisements are credited with making Grey Poupon the best-selling mustard in the United States by associating it with high quality.

In the original ad, a jar of Grey Poupon was politely passed from one Rolls-Royce to another in response to a passing motorist's request:

But things went less swimmingly when young Steven Cox and six friends made a similar request in Salt Lake City on June 18.  Whilst stopped at an intersection next to a silver vehicle, Mr. Cox motioned to his fellow driver to roll down his window.  As in the commercial, Cox said to him, "Excuse me, sir, would you have any Grey Poupon?"  He did not, but he did have a black handgun.  "Here's your Grey Poupon," the man said, refusing to follow the script.  "Roll your f***ing windows up."

So said Vitaly Kovtun, driver of the silver SUV, who, if he did have any Grey Poupon, wasn't giving it up.  According to the police report, Kovtun not only rudely denied the request but also "racked the slide [of his handgun] back towards the victims in a threatening manner."  (If there is a non-threatening manner in which one might rack the slide of one's handgun at another, one is unaware of it.)

The miscreant's license-plate number having been noted, authorities soon apprehended Kovtun, who was charged on July 22 with aggravated assault.  He was released on $5,000 bail, which at prevailing poupon prices ($3.99/bottle) would be enough to secure 1,253 jars of the substance, with a bit left over to tip one's valet.

Link: The Smoking Gun