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Sometimes, Ice Floats Seem Like a Pretty Good Idea

What is it about old people in this town?

Let me start over. Point 1: We live in La Jolla, sure, but we live in the cheap-o, close-to-campus, condoland part of La Jolla. No old people live here. None. The rest of La Jolla, is, in a word, filthy stinkin' rich. Very fancy, very posh, very resort-ey, very . . . rich. If you retire in La Jolla, you're not scrapin' by on Social Security.

Point 2: Our friendly local neighbourhood Whole Foods (within walking distance! huge!) has taken to providing samples of featured items, as is the growing custom in grocery stores these days. However, instead of having a staff person always there to serve these samples, WF often just sets food out on little tables, and conveniently surrounds those tables with the featured product. I think it's nice.

Point 3: Every stinkin' time I go to the WF, there's some old person, usually a dude, hovered over the sample table(s), just chowin' down. I don't mean going back for seconds, or even light snacking. We're talkin' hunched over, face-shovelin', double-dippin', gonna-eat-'til-the-bowl-is-empty chowing down. It'd almost be funny, were it not outrageous. You like those pita chips and dip, old man? Hey, how 'bout you purchase some with a few of your millions of dollars and go the fuck home and eat them on your beautiful porch overlooking the ocean? You feelin' a little low on the blood sugar right now, dude? That's cool. Whole Foods has an excellent prepared foods section and some tables right over there. Why don't you take a sample, and then get the fuck on with your shopping? Hmm? I feel a little bad when I take one tiny sample of something I have no intention of buying. What, do you think you're somehow entitled to get all of everything? Have you no conscience? Have you no dignity? Ugh.

I'm not prepared to make any statements about the reputation "down here" has for inflated senses of self-worth, nor do I wish to impugn the entirety of the elderly population of La Jolla. I'm just sayin', there are some rich old dudes who eat all the samples up at the Whole Foods, and it pisses me off. I want a little piece of that pita chips and dip action too, yo.

P.S. Happy almost-Birthday, Grandma.

Full post as published by The Mighty Argos on October 10, 2006 (boomark / email).