Constitutional Law

Where Art Thou Lou Dobbs? Is There A Natural Connection Between Immigration and America's Air Travel?

The following post is by Robert Weiner, a Washington, D.C. attorney

Recently the CNN commentator Lou Dobbs decried “the way airline passengers are being treated in this country,” having to “line up like cattle” to get through security and enduring conditions that are “disgusting.” CNN, which is in the business of anointing, has anointed Dobbs the scourge of illegal immigration. Without him, nothing would keep U.S. elected officials from ranking  the interests of their constituents, who can vote, below those of foreigners, who cannot.  

It is thus surprising that Dobbs overlooked a significant source of the current problem with air travel -- immigration. From September 2006 to September 2007, more than 200 million passengers traveled by air between the United States and the rest of the world. If even half those passengers were not U.S. citizens, between 50 million and 100 million foreigners entered this country. No wonder our flights are crowded. Whether legal or not, these people are taking our seats on airplanes. They are usurping our tables at good restaurants.  And they are mocking us monetarily, spending money, buying what we can no longer afford. 

Who knows how many of these foreign passengers are criminals? Or perverts? Or French? Plainly, the indignities of airport security are their fault. Four of every hundred inmates in U.S. prisons are not U.S. citizens. Some of those four undoubtedly flew here. If it were not for the current security restrictions on permissible carry-on items, these incipient criminals -- maddened by the lure of low-paying U.S. jobs -- would pose a clear and present danger to U.S. passengers. Aliens could overwhelm American travelers with hostile spritzes of foreign cologne, or assault them with stiffened hair gel. 

In addition to these potentially serious crimes, foreign passengers could bring diseases, too, like the Black Death or halitosis. Moreover, many refuse to speak English without an accent or dress down or drink watery beer. And they are so disgustingly not obese. 

So Lou Dobbs, of all people should know that the way to solve the airline crisis in this country is the same way we can solve every other significant national problem -- stop immigration. No more foreign passengers should be allowed on flights into the United States. Not only would security lines at the airport be shorter, but our streets safer, and the weather as well. Well, perhaps not the weather, but at least we could settle back in to our blissful sense of superiority.

Full post as published by ACS Blog on May 06, 2008 (boomark / email).