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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

#Madoff Bombs #Bloomberg; Midas Touch Still In Tact

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From The Desk Of: Bernie Madoff
To: Madoff Market Update Subscribers

1. Go back to my Feb 28 posting-I told you the market for stocks, gold and oil was topping out. As of yesterday morning, the DOW has since traded down 400 points, Gold is down $40 in two weeks, and Oil is slightly lower. Subscription rates for my newsletter are expected to trade up 25% in the coming weeks; before I put out my next market call.

2. Speaking of subscription rates, after Junior pointed out two ridiculous headline stories from Bloomberg yesterday, I'm thinking of canceling my Bloomberg terminal.

To: Mike Bloomberg
RE: March 15 story by Linda Sandler "Ruth Madoff Has $14 Million in Bank From Fraud Sought By Trustee.."
Where are you getting your editors from, National Enquirer?!

Mike- I read the article 2x, then I had Allen Stanford read it 2x, then I had Junior Persico read it again.
Anyone with more than a third-grade education would conclude from the headline that Bloomberg News is reporting, as a matter of fact, that there currently exists $14 million in an account controlled by Ruth Madoff and domiciled at the Bank of New York.

The first paragraph of Linda?s report provides previously published news reports which indicated that, over a period of years, the account received these funds directly or indirectly from the pool of investor money entrusted to BMIS. Further along Linda?s article, we notice other, previously reported summaries with regard to the various assets Ruth and I owned that were long ago seized and since sold under the direction of the Trustee. Its all true, trust me.

Linda's story contained wonderful, if not out-dated information. However, the article makes no absolutely further reference to any actual current bank account that might exist, and merely references Picard?s suit that states ?she [my Baby Ruth] remains a person of substantial means.?

According to settlements made previously with Nose Picker, the details of which are available in public court records (which remain sealed), my darling wife agreed to forgo all but $2.5million in assets that were then in her control, directly or indirectly, in consideration for a global settlement. Its understood that the global settlement did not preclude the Trustee from making future claims. Whatever..he likes suing ham sandwiches.

That said, the headline of your story clearly indicates that somehow, Irv P.?missed? putting a claim on $14 million in cash that has remained available all of this time to Ruthie, despite the fact that the content of the actual article provides no supporting information that would be consistent with the headline.

I?m puzzled. Have you recently recruited ?journalists? from the National Enquirer? Or do you actually have evidence to support your ?news report? that my darling wife managed to park $14 million in plain sight with one of the world?s largest banks; the one that?s been subjected to the most arduous scrutiny since the day I turned myself in?

If she had $14 million in cash, don't you think she'd at least be sending me weekly shipments from Sable's??

Will look forward to your ~~redaction~~ reply.

B.Madoff
(P.S. The other erroneous story you published profiled an options trade in EWJ yesterday in which a customer bought 100,000 calls and sold 100,00 puts--and your report quoted two 'market experts' that said "this was a really bullish bet on Japan.." You people are idiots, and you're using idiot experts for sources. The reporter and the expert sources neglected to realize that trade also included a corresponding hedge: the sale of 10 million shares of the underlying ETF: EWJ).

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on March 16, 2011 (boomark / email).