Practice Management

Typically this terms means the state in fat accumulation when fabric can no longer contain the enormity of one's buttocks.  However, in the practice of law (or in the conducting of any business for that matter) I think in can also refer to a state in lawyers (and a few judges I guess) when the fabric of their fake, for the benefit of the court, disposition can no longer restrain their otherwise abhorrent, obnoxious, malignant, repugnant, or simply ugly personality or behavior.  Their superego has simply stretched the cloth of credulity to the point it is compromised.

Come on, in each of our little practice area worlds we know who the identities of these these brawlers, detestable, unpleasant, loathsome, vile, wretched lawyers.  The lawyers that do not so much disagree with you, but they go around being disagreeable with everyone, including the courts, on points and contentions that boarder on the legally absurd, bizarre, nonsensical, impractical and asinine.  No point is to small, no slight is too little, no issue is too inane to start a separate war over it.  The issue or defense is never even the point of the matter or the litigation, as the problem they have with you, your client, the world, the law, Congress, the court, the trustee, and possibly God himself or herself, or the fact that God even exists.

We can all be an ass, and I am sure from time to time we have all been asses.  I know I have.  That is not really the point.  We move on.  I am talking about lawyers with the pathology that cannot move on, that cannot give in to any argument, and in fact that make an unseemly argument out of everything.

I have often thought, who in the world would retain these lawyers.  Well, in fact, some companies and people love to retain these contemptible creatures because they somehow confuse this odious conduct as zealous representation.  At least this is true until they get the tab.  That is a different story.

The problem is that this detestable conduct wins out enough to reinforce it because sane people just want to get away from these wretched and vile lawyers.  No matter what the damage, nothing but nothing is worse than being so near to such loathsome lawyers.

So, they sometimes win precisely because they are so nefarious.  In fact, they win in a couple of ways because of this.  First, the opposing party just goes away.  Second, their client gets to pay them through the nose for the dishonest jurisprudence.

The good news is that I have only known a handful of these lawyers in my life.  And, I can tell you that with the exception of a couple, most have eventually been drummed out of the bar (although it has taken years), or their clients have eventually lost big at some point and the business is lost.  I would mention the couple with which I have had to deal as of late, but then I would be reaching my critical ass.  I do not want to do that.

Let us just face the fact.  These lawyers are just sociopaths, or they suffer from an antisocial disorder.  They are mentally ill, just not to the degree is likely to cure the problem.  You cannot call the Bar and demand they do something because you find the person an unmitigated ass.  I have no special advice for you on how to deal with these people except to ignore them as best you can and just stick to your case, your points, and hope you do not run into them that much.