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Hear the One About McCain?

By Matt Cooper

John McCain's decision to suspend his campaign and his call to postpone the first presidential debate because of the financial crisis was dismissed by Democrats and mocked by comedians. What a country!

Jay Leno: "John McCain wants to postpone Friday night's presidential debate," and "he has temporarily suspended his campaign. Yeah, so, apparently, this news about Clay Aiken being gay has affected him more than anybody thought."

"No, actually, the real reason" McCain "says he's postponing the debate is to concentrate on the economic crisis. Yeah, yeah. In fact, President Bush spoke to the nation earlier tonight, addressing the financial crisis. He spoke live from the White House panic room."

David Letterman: Sen. John McCain "was supposed to be on the program tonight," but "he had to cancel." He "is suspending his campaign because the economy is exploding." But nobody "told his vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin," who is "still circling the theater in the white minivan," waiting "to pick him up."

Top Ten Questions People Are Asking the John McCain Campaign.

"10. 'I just contributed to your campaign -- how do I get a refund?'

9. 'It's Sarah Palin -- does this mean I'm Pars'dent?'

8. 'Can't you solve this by selling some of your homes?'

7. 'Hi, this is Clay Aiken. Is McCain single?'

6. 'Do you still think the fundamentals of our economy are strong, genius?'

5. 'Are you doing all this just to get out of going on Letterman?'

4. 'What would Matlock do?'

3. 'Hillary here -- my schedule is free Friday night.'

2. 'Is this just an excuse to catch up on napping?'

1. 'This is President Bush ? what's all this trouble with the economy?'

Conan O'Brien: "Today, John McCain made a big announcement. He said he wants to postpone Friday's presidential debate," but not "because of the economic crisis. It turns out TV Land is airing a 'Golden Girls' marathon."

"John McCain has been trying to look younger on the campaign trail" by "using a makeup artist named Tiffany who works on 'American Idol.' True story, yeah. Tiffany says, 'Making John McCain look younger is easy," but what is "'really hard is making Paula Abdul look sober.'"

Jimmy Kimmel:

"Sen. John McCain has announced" he is "putting his campaign for president on hold to focus on the economy. And he wants to postpone his first debate with Barack Obama on Friday, which seems a little bit like the old 'my grandmother died' excuse the night before a final exam. But you have to understand something -- when you have 11 houses, you take a housing crisis very, very seriously."

And for some extra laughs, a few jokes at Sarah Palin's expense:

Jay Leno: "Sarah Palin was in New York City this week. She met with some world leaders yesterday and went to the Central Park Zoo." It took "her five hours to get through the zoo, because she had to keep stopping to reload."

David Letterman: "Sarah Palin...was at the UN yesterday," meeting "all the world leaders." Actually, she is "still learning who the world leaders are." For example, right now, "she thinks that Warren Buffett is the head of Margaritaville."

Conan O'Brien: "Sarah Palin was in New York City this week. While she was here, her family took the ferry to visit the Statue of Liberty. ... When she saw the ferry, Palin said, 'Can't we build a bridge to that thing? It would be easier to get there.'"

Related Links
Obama Still Tops Online, But McCain Gaining
Oprah and Sarah: Anatomy of a Non-troversy
McCain's Gambit to Suspend Campaign

Full post as published by Portfolio.com: Capital on September 25, 2008 (boomark / email).