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Why Should I Apologize?

By Steve Lombardi

Hopefully our mother's and father's taught us that after you do something wrong you should apologize. The apology is meant to communicate a sincere feeling of remorse. We are taught the act of apologizing is a learning tool, for the wrongdoer. The person apologizing does so to affect their own conscience while conveying sincerity to the person wronged. The act of apologizing is a character building event.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuwfBbZUEPM

But, where the person apologizing has nothing to lose, it isn't really sincere; meaning for an apology to mean anything there has to be a cost, or negatives and risks. That's how we learn and along the way to build good character and hopefully a solid reputation.

Recently we've seen major celebrities in situations that created the need to apologize. Serena Williams could be seen at the U.S. Open Tennis Center verbally assaulting the linesman with curses that I'm sure made her handlers and endorsers cringe. She was disqualified by penalty points, which didn't bring an immediate apology, but the next day she took to the airwaves in a more apologetic mode. I didn't believe her apology. It was too contrived.

Most of the video on YouTube has been removed. I wonder why? I did find one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oA792DGT2E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krSOPHAyxuk

And then there was the Rapper Kanye West's interruption and outburst when Taylor Swift's video won at the MTV Video Music Awards that sent him to the apology chair on the Jay Leno show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR2D77AFYQ0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-YYGCutmZg

And the last is Congressman Joe Wilson interrupting the President during his address to the Congress. Congressman Wilson later apologized.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgce06Yw2ro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoEtJgBd9-4

Interesting how most of the Serena Williams outbursts were removed from YouTube. I didn't believe either the Williams or the Wilson apologies. I did believe Kanye West.

So what's wrong with the Williams and Wilson conciliatory words following their errors of judgment? Kanye West speaks his words and really seems to mean them. He seems genuinely ashamed. The words of neither Serena Williams nor Joe Wilson seem genuine. Serena can't stop smiling while apologizing and Wilson was caught using his outburst to fundraise; how can we believe either was contrite? Words just aren't enough. Each seems to lack good character. What did you think?

Tomorrow I'd like to talk about the medical community's character when it comes to the apology shield. The apology shield is a sign of the widening crack in America's flawed character. An apology just isn't genuine when you haven't anything to lose and are trying to fool the insulted party. This series will last for over a week so join us for the daily apology and concomitant discussion. And if this series is too long, I apologize.

Originally posted at InjuryBoard by Steve Lombardi

Full post as published by Des Moines Personal Injury Lawyer on September 22, 2009 (boomark / email).