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By Bill Altreuter

The Scottish Diet is an ingenious nutritional system invented by the Scots to keep their pension funds in balance by reducing the number of people who make it beyond the age of 60. Like many of the world's smartest inventions (most of them invented by the Scots), it is devilishly simple. It increases the premature death rate through a well-balanced diet:

The Scottish Diet
«Any and all things you can eat, But this proportion always heed:
# A third from fat
# A third from sugar
# A third from alcohol
From time to time, you can eat a small amount of fruits, in the form of jams or preserves, or even better, distilled.» (Via A Hamburger Today.)

Full post as published by Outside Counsel on December 03, 2007 (boomark / email).