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Miscellaneous

: Jeremy Blachman's Brand New Weblog

Sworn In

By jeremyblachman

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It's three and a half years since I passed the Bar Exam, but I was finally sworn in today as a member of the New York State Bar. (EDITED TO ADD: Not because of any character and fitness issues.) I waited close to the three-year deadline to file my papers, mostly because I'd convinced myself that filling out the forms and getting all the letters of reference and signed affidavits would be a huge hassle (it actually wasn't), and a little bit because I didn't want to pay more years of fees without having to, and probably a tiny bit because without filing all the paperwork I still wasn't a lawyer and therefore couldn't even entertain the suggestion that I could have a consistent income stream and stability and all that jazz if only I would just take a job at a law firm (although what's been happening with law firm layoffs makes all that pretty crazy now anyway, so it's not like I need an excuse anymore for not getting a law firm job). But it would have been stupid to let my eligibility expire without filling out the silly paperwork and jumping through the small hoops of the 90-second character and fitness interview and the three-hour "introduction to the profession" class. So I did all that, and then got my notice in the mail telling me to go get sworn in last month, but I was still in California, so I called them and moved my date to April... and I did it this morning, at the Supreme Court, State of New York Appellate Division in Brooklyn, along with a hundred other folks in suits.

Was hoping there'd be enough fun to turn it into an article I could try and sell to the Wall Street Journal Law page, but I don't really think there was. It's a pretty brief affair -- 25 minutes of waiting in a holding room, then 20 minutes of standing in rows in the courtroom while they take attendance, then 20 minutes of a Justice reading an oath and reciting a speech about why being a lawyer is awesome, and then signing your name in a big book.

But there were a few funny things:

1. You're able to purchase, for $25, a "scroll" with your name on it, suitable for framing -- I assume the thing looks like a diploma and says you're a member of the bar. The court officer spent most of our time in the holding pen talking about the scroll -- you need to write your name and address on an index card, you need to listen when they tell you what page number in the book you're signing your name on so you can write it on the index card, and you need to go to the cash register (in the courtroom -- a cash register, right in the courtroom) on your way out to pay for it. She said we must put down an address where someone will be there to receive it, the post office will require a signature, they will not leave it, so please use an address where you are certain someone will be there, can be a family member or a place of employment, but someone must be there.... Someone asked when it will arrive, so they know what address to put, knowing someone will be there. "Our printers are currently backed up," the court officer said, "so the scroll will arrive in 6-9 months." Oh. I think my mom will be home in 6-9 months, let me just check her schedule. Or, maybe the hypothetical me will have it sent to a workplace... except is there anyone who's confident that they'll be in the same workplace in 6-9 months? I didn't order a scroll, because I don't need another thing that looks like a diploma still sitting in its original packaging in my parents' house somewhere.

2. The other thing the court officer kept telling us was that we needed to make sure not to lock our knees when standing in the courtroom. "Some people think they have to stand up really straight, and they lock their knees, and then they start to feel a little lightheaded, and we've had people faint in the courtroom. Please bend one knee, or sway from side to side, or keep adjusting your balance. We do not want anyone fainting in the courtroom today. It will get hot in there from all the body heat, and you will be standing for a while. If you start to feel faint, call a court officer over and he or she will assist you." Weird the first time, sort of crazy once they went through this for the third time. And then once we were in the courtroom, a different court officer said, into the microphone, "Don't lock your knees. We don't want anyone passing out." And then the Justice, at the beginning of his speech, told a story: "The first time I did this, after I told everyone that listening to my speech was the last hurdle toward becoming a lawyer, and that it wouldn't be so bad, just a minute after that I saw someone in the back row pass out. So don't do that, please." This is an obsession over in the Brooklyn Supreme Court. Seemed like it had to have been some sort of epidemic. Very strange.

3. For $5 you can purchase (why does everything cost money?) a letter of good standing. "But these are only good for 30 days, so don't buy a lot of them, you're just wasting your money." Who's buying a lot of these? Why?

4. I think this was the first time I said the pledge of allegiance since grade school.

Seriously, I guess it's sort of cool that I'm now actually permitted to practice law in the State of New York. Not that I would hire me for anything if I needed a lawyer -- some actual practical experience would be necessary first -- but nice to know that in an emergency (or on the phone with the cable company), I can accurately claim to be a licensed attorney.

Full post as published by Jeremy Blachman's Brand New Weblog on April 16, 2009 (boomark / email).