Legal Writing

Quite a Claim

Consider this intro to the law firm of McAfee & Taft:

Welcome

Since our inception in 1952, McAfee & Taft has distinguished itself by being an industry leader in developing innovative legal solutions and providing aggressive representation for businesses and individuals alike.

Do you find anything wrong with that?

Well, if you’ve a critical eye like mine, you find a couple of problems, the first being a shift in point of view (from first-person to third-person).

The biggest problem (to my critical eye) is the bald claim that the firm was an industry leader in 1952.

Not bad for a brand new firm with just two attorneys!

Look, if you’re selling beer or soda, it might make sense to claim you’re #1. But if you’re the largest law firm in Oklahoma, why write your copy with the sort of flair used to sell beverages to the masses?

Full post as published by Set in Style on July 14, 2010 (boomark / email).