Legal Commentary

Valentine's Windows Are Safe Again

By TChris

The citizens of Valentine, Nebraska can resume their normal lives now that the notorious Butt Bandit has been captured.

Beginning in spring of 2007, a mystery vandal visited businesses at night, pressing his naked behind — sometimes his groin, sometimes both — on windows. The marks were made with lotion or petroleum jelly ...

The Butt Bandit (who really isn't much of a bandit despite the entertaining alliteration) terrorized the good people of Valentine with his cheek imprints during the last two summers. He took a break during the winter, presumably due to the discomfort of dropping trou in frigid weather. Despite concern that copycat criminals might leave their own moon imprints on Valentine's windows, Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott said:

"This isn't normal behavior for Valentine"

That's reassuring. (Note: Rumors that the Bandit's actual name is Seymour Butts turn out to be unfounded.)

Full post as published by TalkLeft on November 22, 2008 (boomark / email).