Legal Commentary

Some jerk is stealing my thunder...and making money to boot!

A robber who bears a resemblance to Anthony Edwards' "Goose" character from the movie Top Gun robbed his third bank in a month on Saturday, Fort Worth police said.

At 10:15 a.m., a white man wearing dark aviator sunglasses, a black T-shirt and gray pants walked into the Citibank in the 2800 block of West Berry Street.

He handed the teller a note and walked out with "an undetermined amount of cold, hard cash," said police spokesman Lt. Paul Henderson. 

The robber, who appeared to be in his mid-20s, is about 6 feet tall and weighs about 180 pounds.

Police believe the same man robbed a Wachovia Bank on Bellaire Drive on May 30 and the Compass Bank on West Rosedale Street on May 17.

Anyone with information can call Fort Worth Police Detective Michael Baggot at 817-989-3330 or Crimestoppers at 800-469-TIPS.

As regular readers (all 1.87 of you) know, "looks like 'Goose' from Top Gun" was my schtick. Now, some punk thirty years younger than I am is trying to out-Goose me, and apparently he's succeeding in spades. He's even aped my height and weight. Damn, I feel old!

Where's that sawed-off pseudo tough guy John Walsh and his black leather jacket when you need him? This juvenile imposter Goose needs to be featured on "America's Most Wanted" and to have his goose cooked. Let's go, Walsh! Chop-chop! Time's a-wastin'.

I'd go out and hunt down the fraud myself, except until he's caught I can't show my face in public because some fool of a police officer might nab me for crimes I didn't commit. When I need to rob a bank, I simply bill them a few hours and e-mail them an invoice.