Law Students

Words I Thought I Wouldn't Hear For A While

By Andrea

"So about the urine sample, fill this cup, then fill the two tubes about halfway, then throw away the cup."

Lovely. I finished the last part of applying for life insurance today, which meant a guy came to my workplace to take my blood pressure, ask me if I was on my period, and steal my precious bodily fluids. I thought I was done with this stuff after pregnancy. My office actually has a glass wall (and an officemate), so I had to steal my supervisor's in order to do this. I hope the guy didn't leave any weird things in there.

Besides handing a stranger who's not even wearing a white coat your blood and pee at your workplace, the life insurance process had other strange moments, namely, the phone interview where they try and figure out how you're going to die.

"Do you skydive?"

"No."

"Bungee jump?"

"No."

"Rock climb? Spelunk? Play Russian roulette? Been cursed by a talking crow?"

So it looks like I'm healthy, never leave the house, will live until 90, and so will pay very little a month to be worth way more dead than alive for the next 25 years. (I realize that I have, you know, human worth far beyond my assets and liabilities, so you don't have to reassure me of that. I just love how dramatic it sounds to say "worth more dead than alive!" And then Dan brandishes a butter knife at me, and then our mystery murder scene is ended.)

Full post as published by Peanut Butter Burrito on December 09, 2008 (boomark / email).