International Law

Why We Fail in Persuading Others

Victoria Pynchon's presentation about the cognitive barriers to creating value is compelling reading, particularly the slides on reactive devaluation. Victoria points out that negotiators fail to ask diagnostic questions, which prevent either side from creating value.

The challenge posed by Victoria is not simple to resolve, although I like what Todd Kashdan, writing at the Psychology Blogs, had to say about curiousity and negotiation, or diplomacy.

If people show that they are curious and willing to learn more about someone else's opposing view, this might be the key to diplomacy. That is, ask a single clarifying question about what another person's view is about. That's it.

One question with a few important guidelines:

1. All you are doing is gathering information.
2. Be willing to suspend your biases and passionate beliefs-anticipate being challenged to defuse any defensive reactions on your part.
3. There is no commitment that you are going to alter or change your position based on what you learn.

Think of it as making an assessment of what the other person is thinking instead of judging them.

Don't get me wrong, this is a hard mindset to be in.

I agree with this evaluation, it is often very hard to both understand what the other side is saying, and not making a judgment about whether it is right or wrong.

Full post as published by Misleading Advertising Law on March 31, 2009 (boomark / email).