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All you apartment dwellers out there: Listen up. Let's say that your lease (like the one in this case) allows the landlord to inspect your place, and that they do so biannually. Presumably, at least pursuant to the generalized lease provisions I typically see, with 24 hours notice.

Here's what you should not leave sitting in plain view during one of these inspections: "On the bar in the kitchen area . . . two lines of cocaine cut for use and two rolled dollar bills [and] another line of cocaine and a rolled bill in a bedroom. . . . [Plus] (1) four sets of electronic scales, two with a white powdery residue consistent with cocaine; (2) inositol powder, commonly used as a cutting agent for cocaine; (3) clear plastic baggies, commonly used as a packaging medium for narcotics; (4) a methamphetamine pipe; (5) a clear plastic bag containing 107 grams of cocaine; (6) a black plastic bag, inside of which was a plastic bag containing 39.5 grams of methamphetamine, a plastic bag containing 26.8 grams of cocaine, and several small wrapped baggies containing a total of 8.19 grams of cocaine; (7) a nine millimeter semiautomatic handgun, in a holster, with 20 live rounds, including a loaded magazine inserted into the weapon, one round in the chamber, and a fully loaded secondary magazine; (8) $503 in cash in a bag hanging on a bedpost; and (9) $3,526 stuffed between the mattress and box spring of a bed."

Don't say you weren't warned. Think of your landlord as you did your parents. Hide your stash.

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